Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Randomize
