We're facebook friends in real life
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
