I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
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