Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
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