OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
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