i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
And then he peed in my hair
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