Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
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