Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
bring money and cleavage
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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