Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
