I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
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