okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
