There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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