At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Randomize
