I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
