dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Randomize
