I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Randomize
