He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
