Come see our sink grown plant.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize
