I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
