How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize
