If i come over, it means nothing
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
