i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
