He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
