i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
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