I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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