You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
