Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Everclear isn't food dammit
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
