I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Randomize
