Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
