i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
