my room smells like sperm. sweet.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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