you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize
