laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
