we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
