Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
