Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Randomize
