Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
