you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
