WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
