Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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