That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
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