scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize