just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
Randomize
