I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
