Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
