Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Randomize
