The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Randomize
