How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
