They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Randomize
