so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
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